you kept yelling something about watching the muppets chirstmas carol and trying to turn the t.v. on with your car keys
I have a story that starts with Nutella and ends with sex in the laundry building at RIT.
champagne bombs. Yes, i think that is where things may have gotten out of control.
Party at my house. Liquor pinata. Your presence is required.
so apparently I plead the 5th to every question they asked me when they put me under the conscious sedation to set my broken wrist
just fought my dog for the chicken pie I dropped on the floor.
Spilled red wine all over my bed. This has to be the fiftieth time ive refused to fall asleep without a drink in my hand
The birthday girl is bringing her own barf bucket, it is going to be a good weekend.
Literally I thought my ears were pouring out blood. That high.
I want to get "Patrick Kane" wasted tonight
I am one hundred percent down for that
It's like the bat signal. He only texts me when I'm naked.
Ok thats great. so just to recap: you fucked a billionare in his penthouse last night, and I had a glass of wine on the toilet.
Fuck me I smell like cheese
He showed up to my apt at 6am wearing a suit and holding a bag of coke....how could I not let him in?
shit... I double booked my fuck buddies
Randomize
