How can i ever say i miss u when u wont go away
I finally had kitchen counter sex! i was so excited
Yes, I fucked her, no she wasn't that loose, yes she caused more drama than a 14 year old girl
writing the newer testament. It's the 3rd for the series. I'll update u the rule changes later.
They were done having sex when I went to the room. They had that look on their faces.
Disappointment?
basically at this point ill snort whatever you put in front of me and just hope
Somehow me not being able to breathe due to cocaine doesn't seem very domesticated.
Burnt my ear trying to use the bathroom blow dryer as a telephone.
I dressed up as a breathalyzer test for Halloween; never had so many straight dudes blow me before!
Hungover. Have to fix everything I've broken. I'm gonna be very late.
I feel like if tampons weren't meant to be microwaved, they'd have a warning on the box, so we should be okay...
I feel I must have sex with him first to fully decide where my vagina belongs.
I used the light from the first guy's text notification to be able to snapchat the second guy in the dark. I am too good at juggling guys.
"You're the only girl I haven't made out with yet" = worst pick up line ever
I forgot wine drunk hurts
Randomize
