But if ***** wants to get filthy... Tell her to throw a text my way ;)
I hope I'm pregnant just to spite you.
I really don't think you should have 'baptized' your tattoo in vodka the same night you got it.
With your fertility you would just get contact pregnant
gona look into getting a tetanus booster and carrying an adrenaline shot...its going off this weekend
It just wouldn't be valentines day if i didn't invite 90% of the guys i've slept with to go to the strip club with me
I wish my bank account would intervene on my life choices.. $200+ in alcohol in 2 weeks and a $40 McDonald's bill is a cry for help.
like every night i go out someone always suggests nipple hugs so that's why I always end up topless
17. The number of times my one night stand told me he loved me.
He said he could outsmoke me so I challenged him to a weed duel. I don't always very competitive but when I do...
"I'm 95% straight," he says. Cut to him on his knees...by far the most beautiful guy I've ever fucked.
Beer. Pizza. Seething Rage. I will be full of two of these things tonight. You get to decide which two.
After an orgasm, I always feel the urge to sing A Whole New World from the move Aladdin and I'm not quite sure why.
That was the most spiritually awakened shit I have ever taken.
I don't want to just hook up with random dudes. I've had enough bad sex to know that it's not worth hooking up with strangers
It's not?
Randomize
