Cab driver just said he likes mutual masturbation in the cab. Um
I justed realized that the word 'turd" is present in saturday
The brown eye won't let me do that either.
well tonys high enough to be moving from spot to spot around the kitchen shooting tortellini into a boiling pot and yelling "KING JAMES" whether he makes or misses it.
I'm too hungover to be in a fucking cow suit right now
I came out, you were peeing on the car and when I asked why you said it deserved it because its a rental
Right... Let's keep my vodka tinged mind focused on simple words
Its like no one cares im drunk naked wet and ready to throw myself at some one hold on i found a solution to my problems
I love pie. Pie understands me and the spatula
This is going to be one of those "I can only do this high" classes
He's an acquired taste, like S&M or those crunchy things they put in salads
Croutons?
Don't blame me. My vagina leads me astray.
She wasn't one for labels or anything serious really but while she was riding me she yelled marry me. It's like she fucked her self into commitment lmao she realy is a keeper bro
Hopefully they won't bring up last year's Christmas party. I kind of predicted my great aunt's death...
What is it about fresh air and wanting to talk about penises
I forgot that I'm high because of how high I am.
Randomize
