im surounded by vag. Like smog aound LA, i am suffocating in an atmosphere of pussy
Car fucking is for special occasions like birthdays and bank holidays. Don't want to lose the magic by making it an everyday thing.
I'm seriously so bored I'm seeing how many rooms I can masturbate in before I get caught.
Four. Poor grandma...
We just all danced like dinosaurs in the center of the dance floor.
I learned much from the teen babysitter: I can light a cigarette in a microwave.
It was like a secret agent hookup. No names, swift execution, get in- get out.
Ran into that hot funeral director in the bar two days after the wake. pretty sure we drunk made out.
Grandpa would have been proud
becoming an adult blows. i don't think its possible for me to wake up for anything that doesn't involve kegs and eggs or half naked bums passed out in our yard.
did you come by the house last night? I found a half eaten corn dog in the mail box.
Also txt me when you take your first dump of the year... I'd like to synchronize if that's at all possible.
He rolled up to the party in an ice cream truck. He was definitely my first priority
Who are you to come into MY house and tell me when I can or cannot take my pants off?
Wait, cocaine is okay but tanning isn't?
I just took a shot before my midterm. Gotta keep things in perspective.
One lesson I've learned so far from college: You've always got time for one more shot. Always
Randomize
