Yeah i knew he wasn't okay when he told me he was "seeing his vision"
I'd be a gr8 surrogate. I'm gonna love your fetus
DIN'T JUSGE NE.
God, for the last time, no I did not break my nose doing a keg-stand just for a nose job.
Law school has no idea what kind of prospect they have coming in. I just convinced a cop not to take me to jail by asking him if he really felt like cleaning puke out of his car tonight.
I text him "Dude. Tryna get fucked here. I only have half the parts. I need your help" I'm sure my mom would be super proud of the woman I have become.
who started the 'put a scrunchy' around his balls' game?
first thing my tuition money buys is a strap on
Debating going to the grocery store with my vibrator still in, cause I can't stand the idea of it out. Lets do some risk/reward
The problem is that you are trying to hold on to some dignity. Let it go. I hope your rash gets better.
How I know we're old. Don knows the owner. The owner said 'How about some shots?' We said no thanks. He looked puzzled and came back later and said 'You know it's on the house?' We said 'Yeah, no thanks.'
The dysfunction is strong in this one.
Just try not to have a boner when you're giving your best man speech, it will really kill the vibe
how soon in a friendship can you start calling them a motherfucker
His mom came while we were asleep naked and started asking me about my plans after high school... Is that even a thing.
Randomize
