The vibrating part of my dildo broke, now I have to rely on gyration.
Whats the opposite of morning wood? Whatever its called, everyone saw it when it fell out.
I wish i could call my weed and hear it ring. That's how i found my phone.
You were peeing on yourself thinking it was the sprinkler in your yard
Riding on an electric horse at the grocery store... dunno how that conversation went but I hope you picked up a 12 pack.
I can always make him wear a mask... I'll tell him it's a fetish.
NO I FORBID YOU. THERE ARE BETTER VIRGINITIES OUT THERE WORTH KIDNAPPING.
So I totally just used margarita salt for a body scrub.
I haven't had to masterbate since I started dating him over a year ago. I don't even know if I remember how and my vagina is calling.
look for me at the Giants game I will possibly be the drunk girl passed out by 2nd
I think the reason she hasn't text me back is because I spanked her ass with Hulk Hands
Imma go take shower so I can cleanly change into my drinking underwear.
He climbed on the counter and announced it was time for something called The Cocktacular and all the girls immediately left. He cockblocked the entire fraternity!
well that was a fail
maybe for you, but i got a free ice cube in my bra
I just thought you should know that you should be proud of your dick. It's pretty much perfect. Just, ya know, by the way.
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