Denmark girl wants me to go out but i remembered shes a raging whore with extremely questionable morals. Not feelin that tonight
community service is like the breakfast club... except we're all the criminal.
Just saw an old man buy two cases of keystone light, a case of milwaukee's best and a case of icehouse. Degenerate alcoholic of senior citizen of the year?
I'm so glad i pay social security
I just realize today that I've dated three guys this year with their own blog. Ugh that's embarrassing.
it glows. i had to have it.
Sorry I tried to blow your roommate in your room. I felt more at home there.
They got their marriage license when they were at the courthouse for her arraignment.
Come get her ASAP. She's "people bowling," which is just her rolling into random groups of people. People look pissed.
random memory from the wedding, the bartender show us how to open the windows of the hotel and pee out of them
REALLY should have cleaned under my bed before I had my parents come help me pack...things my parents just found: several condoms and a bottle of lube. My mom when she found a condom: "ooo ribbed. Laura's a lucky girl"
It's ok. I will share any beautiful men that I drug and leave unconscious on my bed. I'm that kind of friend.
I hate vagina strikes, but I must not stray from my path. My boyfriend will know the true meaning of blue balls.
Not yoga, whiskey. Totally mis-typed whiskey.
If a clean cut ginger with a flannel and tattoos shows up at the apartment, he is allowed inside.
So how often do you needs to see my tits today then?
Randomize
