Come to wood. Julia is putting pants on. We must stop her.
I discovered the grieving process is shock, denial, anger...and then something about drinking until you puke on yourself
I am pretty sure I told him the clouds were earth's purest filtration system and that snow was the rarest and most delicious water in the world. My lips are burning because we ate so much.
He walked in AS I was cumming. Now even my father knows I'm a squirter.
i cant cry in cvs. not again.
I just found cold cuts in the blender. You and beefeater can no longer have unsupervised parties.
Can we please stop calling your vagina the cave of wonders?
see these eyes, they just want to bone and go to sleep.
MY roomie made me a chinese name- it's supposed to mean 'the girl of a thousand sins.'
I JUST ATE A STRANGE BURRITO, I SHOULD NOT BE EXPECTED TO KNOW ANYTHING RIGHT NOW.
Dude you of all people would miss her giving him a handjob in front of the whole party
Sleeping in a car was not on my list of plans for the night.
Wednesday is good, I needed the head count for the orgy, caroling can happen with as few as 2 people. There will be a pinata.
For the caroling or the orgy?
yeah, but I wanna be the girl that makes him realize he's 100% gay
Umm I might be late. Also I am may or may not have mayonnaise on my ass
Randomize
