Dude, I just woke up on the floor of some random chick's floor with puke in my hair and a posted note on my forehead that said "It's over." Dude I wasn't even aware I was in a relationship...
no, there's no challenge. I live a humble lifestyle out of virtue.
You wear Armani Exchange.
girl has like over 50 stars tattooed on her front, side and back. feels like i just fucked the universe.
it was all downhill after the free blackjack taco
He just brought me a wine glass. Full of Tequila. Ignore any texts after this one.
downstairs . braiding the drunk passed out girls hair, she will thank us In the morning
You haven't puked in my sink in over a year.. Youre coming over this weekend
He's coming back with me for the week. It took me saying "I don't wanna drive myself home... I'm better as a passenger giving road head" for him to jump at it. Rack another one up for my magical openings.
I think the multiple Sunday morning sirens outside my window are a plot by the cops to get back at me for the shit we pulled last night. Or I should move to a better area.
She frightens me and turns me on at the same time. She's a keeper
Restraining order pending?
Logically he should not be walking around...after that fall he should be in a hospital in a medically induced coma
I'm taking a leave of absence and sending myself to fat camp. I'll let you know when I'm out.
She made this little rubber cap thing that looks like a brain to go on my dick. She calls it a "penis cap". Industrial design students are weird...
Do it break your family into faction start a civil war
My fuck it list is complete! I finally got a firefighter!
Randomize
