nothing as in nothinggggg kills the mood for me is when a girl with 4 cm nipple hair
naighbors jacking off again. i swear its his friday night ritual, its like he knows the night wont be ending in his favor
HER PREGGO ASS BROUGHT SPEGHETTI-O'S... IN HER PURSE.
I wont be hard to find. Im wearing a darth vader mask and I have a megaphone.
You are colorful like whore, yet adorable, like sad puppy. You need more drink.
I'm glad I have good healthy relationships with my one night stands
You can do it. What doesn't kill us just drives us to drink
He said he only likes girls with a sense of humor, after he took his pants off I understood why
If you are drunk already, then as your friend I am advising you to stop writing on your dads Facebook wall
We got security called on us. Apparently the wedding down the street didn't appreciate the trespassing or our loud as fuck rendition of We Are Young.
Literally the only clue I have to try and figure out my blackout adventures is a draft on twitter that just says "Mummies alive!"
He wore socks while I was giving him head. I couldn't even focus on his penis because of the socks.
I am descending into that finals week rage fueled by ramen, mountain dew and bad sex is what's up.
I may have unintentionally punched your cat twice but he's an asshole anyway.
I had sex upstairs in my parents house, and my mom texted me and said "those raccoons are out of control in the walls."
Randomize
