think what you will about my sexuality, just get the cigarettes
i can't believe i had my finger in that
I meant the "stage" gay, Not the "bend me over and call me Gary" gay.
dude i just heard a girl tell another girl 'what part of im trying to get laid tonight dont u understand?'
needless to say i wont be back home tonight
Vanilla vodka + chocolate soymilk does NOT equal an epic milkshake.
you lied. pity sex is amazing.
He pulled a potato out of his bag in the library. A WHOLE FRIGGIN POTATO. He ate it like it was an apple and waved at the librarian as she stared at him.
So was I the only one that was competing in the whale hunt?
She called my landing strip a "vagina mohawk"....
Lesbians are weird.
he thought it would be funny to put his dick inside a beer bottle and wear it around. until we all realized how small his dick would have to be to fit in a beer bottle
A party without a piñata is not a party I want to attend.
This is not the first time I've recognized my body is subconsciously trying to make pizza.
I can't tell if my heart is fluttering because I love him... or if it's palpitating from all the coke.
Imma make him fuck me with my jersey on tonight while I chant Go Jets Go. Gotta love playoff hockey szn.
So the same great-aunt that told me to freeze my eggs for procreation just told me that I should strut around the dance floor b/c I'd get picked up.
I need to meet your family.
Randomize
