Where you at
assisting at a photo shoot in williamsburg till 7ish. wassup?
Doesn't matter. I already jerked off in your bed.
I thouht it was time to go to sleep and suddenly I was front row on brokeback mountain
I'm done. I'm tired and there's a topless pic of me floating around the nation's largest 3G network.
I hate the hobo that sits outside our building
Joe or Chris?
do i even wanna kno y u kno their names?
well i came home drunk one night and Chris offered me a beer as i was coming in, it was kinda weird but i wasn't goin to deny a free beer. you're proolly talkin about Joe though, he's the one with the fucked up eye.
I bought a police grade breathalyzer on ebay at 4:37 am. At least I'm a responsible drunk.
I distinctly recall there being a "I can't be dead 2maro" stipulation to going out last night. There's been a breech of contract
I'm pretty sure you called me last night and screamed that she was force-feeding you a bagel.
I accidentally peed all over the couch. It's safe to say I'm not welcome at that house anymore
Only I could run tino my father in law while looking at condoms at Rite Aid. At 730 on a Thursday morning. I'm in trouble.
Sorry about the flaming shit on your door
I never thought I'd be in my late 20s and send that text
Romantically speaking, I want to sit on his face.
His grandpa picked him up. Brought him to the house. And made him clean the puke off the driveway with a broom and a bucket of water.
I hat to flip my "days since last bad decision" chart back to zero. So...yeah. Sigh.
You thanked me for a delicious cock and tacos...
I never thought I'd be on my couch watching Star Trek, getting my tits rubbed while crying.
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