I need to stop researching the drugs I do on Wikipedia. The parts about abuse and dependency hit too close to home
I got it! After our exam we take shots for every question we skipped!!!
I don't wanna die...
Yeah, all the sudden I heard a loud "ding" and realized I had been passed out on the dorm elevator for about an hour....
Bering your kids um. Abiout tol. Throw up
Attention ladies coming to the party tonight! Tonight will be another chance to win the 5 bucks for getting my cousin hard. Bring your a-game, no one has been able to overcome the whiskey dick yet. Good luck.
Someone asked me why we were having sex on the porch last night. All I remember is him saying he wanted the recruits to see. This has got to stop.
I'm smoking a bowl and pondering why we haven't discovered teleportation again.
Everything was going great until my fake mustache fell off when we started making out.
I just want to like rub my face on his abs
I need help
Abort mission; I repeat: Abort mission.I found an attractive one.
Mom and I are both drunk and walking around the Strip. It's like the hangover but with a lot more bathroom breaks.
My roomate had an hour long melt down about her life choices not realizing I was in the middle of having sex... So yea it went pretty horribly.
He just didn't want his drunk dick pulled out of his windbreaker at the family party
Well he had a nice beard and it smelled good so there was no way I wasn’t going home with him.
Just made a secret hand shake with my sisters cat. Boredom at its finest.
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