it was almost as awkward as hearing my parents on friday nights in 2 in the morning starting, and than hearing at 2:01 my dad getting up and my mom going "i should have married a man"
I hate myself for saying your mom and I have the same friday nights.
don't worry... so do I
are any of them hardcore sluts...just absolute worthless human beings? if not the paper wins
I asked her if she wanted to make this a permanent exclusive thing instead of a fuck buddy thing, and she just looked at me like I'm an idiot.
That's because you are an idiot.
if you really think there are plastic pots safe for the stove i fear for your future landlords.
we got cut off at 8 am. He spilled his drink three times on the plane. this should be one hell of a vegas trip
God you people are gross. Come collect your unconscious friend.
I had to put a towel over my laptop because the little power light was too bright. New hangover low.
Just had a shirt made that says "I'm sorry" going to wear it every sat and sun morning for the foreseeable future
Literally just one second of unclenched butt hole away from shitting my pants.
I'm like still hungover from the quinceanera.
I found dried jizz from last night on my leg while feeding an infant a bottle. I am not fit to care for children
apparently when we were gone the parents play strip connect 4
Im going to seductively wisper "that butters my biscuit" in your ear
Well I mean I HAD done a pretty good job of not pooping myself through the years
I don't know why, but whenever I shave my balls I feel more aerodynamic.
Randomize
