Dude, I don't think I'll ever be able to find a girl for me...
Is this the gay conversation?
Jesus can read your poker face... He is not pleased
don't worry, i already broke the ice when i told the story about how i super glued a picture of big bird to my vag.
You stuck the head of a rubber chicken you found in her house up your ass and then started running around her living room. Naked.
he got instantly turned off in the middle of a blowjob when he heard the news "twilight beat the blockbuster record of batman"
god is playing jersey shore on new years on purpose. he wants me to play drinking games and die. i wish he knew how serious this is.
Fuck, now I'm not only the other woman, but the pregnant one
Once you realized you couldn't finish the 30 you started walking down the street and leaving a beer in everyone's mailbox
I feel like my vagina stays drunk longer than the rest of me. It's always super sensitive and hungry the day after drinking.
It's confirmed. We did xmas carol the grocery store across the street from his building at 2:30am... Only the staff was there.
she fascinated with the iron the back of the toilet seat. she made me sit in the bathroom with her for a solid 10 minutes while she just stared and laughed at it
He wants me to tell you "my boner misses you"
Sooo, did you delete me cause I said I wouldn't babysit you while you did shrooms? You're a grown man.
Hey, I was just wondering why i dont have a shirt on, why im cuddling with a furnace, why im in my own basement, and where my car is.
i'm the most scandalous girl at stop and shop. i kinda have to fuck him in the meat cooler.
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