You dropped me off at the wrong girl's house.
There's no such thing as a "wrong girl" make it happen.
alright see you in the morning.
im so hungover...we just watched The Perfect Storm and i got seasick
I don't have the urge to be a home-wrecker with these two. I think I've grown, don't you?
You tried to poop in the sink last night.
and then the entire party sang the national anthem a capella around the keg.
Just abandoned him for a bowl of soup and the living room floor...hope the window replacement guys don't get a show..I miss you!
also, I heard you can donate your eggs for like $8gs....hellloooo mediterranean vacation. thank youuuu future babies!!!
I feel like weed makes my smarter. I'm watching the stocks and the way I understand if, do not invest in Yahoo right now because they are not fit for that.
I'm so busy i barely have time to have sex with myself. I have to talk myself into it like an old married couple.
these are times I'm glad I'm Jewish because the Torah is just like "drink, eat, and fuck"
He tried to do the do on me last night and my exact words were "stay away from my princess parts. they're renovating."
Strip club or gay bar tonight?
I am an emotionally compromised bisexual.
Sorry for face licking, I probably won't do it again.
Also, I love cats. I sat on the floor and they sat with me.
I was totes going to lose it to him last night, but I cried and we ate mexican food instead.
She called a 10 year old handsome and we gave her a look that was equal parts confused and “what the hell is wrong with you”
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