So can you tell me who's underwear is on the cat?
Well when you're drinking tequila mixed with water out of a steve Austin cup I really don't think acquiring a straw is your main priority
if i find out your the one who pierced my belly button im going to fuck your sister again
I think we should roll her a welcome back, sorry your godmom's on life support blunt.
I'm not considering your visit a success until we've fucked every cock in the ethnic rainbow...between the four of us we should have it done by x-mas
His best friend's cat died so we had a drunken burial ceremony on the side of his condo at 2am and I'm pretty sure if anyone gets ahold of the video feed from Martini Monday we're all fired.
Your dick is going to fall off. Be careful or you'll get callouses. A workingman's dick.
What's dad's email?
askmom@cause.idk
Just so you know in the morning, yes you did send your bartender a snap of your boobs. No I didn't try to stop you because you used sound logic for doing so.
Next guy I fuck must be a cowboy
I need a hobby that isn't dick related
Had dinner with a married woman but didn't have sex with her. Tweeted at Mike Pence to apologize anyway.
I really need to get to the point where I can poop at his house. I’ve taken three shits on the way home already.
Two questions: is there going to be a bathroom at this party, and can we fuck in it. This will define whether or not I enjoy going to parties with you.
Sorry I can't pick up... thought process is fine but too stoned to form words.
Randomize
