He was singing Will Smith Just the Two of Us to his burrito. That high.
Your dignity remains intact. He, on the other hand, is completely convinced he slept with your cat.
I came home ate all of my roomates poptarts and then vommited on her duvet cover. I don't think today is the day to suggest the whole "sex instead of rent money" idea
So getting a bj to I believe I can fly is one of the greatest things ever
ugh i can't even wear this perfume anymore. it just brings back blurry memories of blowjobs and regret.
Just doin' what I do best: sitting in a stall in the class building's bathroom, pondering life and exploring deep, dark corners of the internet before class.
I'm starting to think I didn't bring enough liquor for this family Christmas.
It's 2 pm....
I just blocked a guy on grindr for having a little dick. See? I do have standards.
I wish I was there to have sex with you on the plane to lessen your anxiety.
That's the nicest thing anyone has over said to you.
They said you went back in for 30 minutes and were walking with your arms out like an eagle soaring
Hey before you quit, let me sell drugs to your boss at least one more time
I ain't lettin her quit anyway. We don't fuck enough for her to meet the housewife requirements
So his dick was definitely bigger than it looked in all the pictures he sent my daughter.
6 hours ago I jacked off a a guy for $100. I explained it away as "compensation" for gas and tolls. WHAT am I doing with my life? Quickest and easiest $100 I ever made though, haha
After the "sex" was over I dressed as quickly as possible. And then he came over to me stark naked and embraced me. For over a minute. And all I could think was please get your penis off my dress.
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