i'm sure her mom would have loved to find out her daughter has herpes via facebook
i just overheard my mom tell my dad he should drink less so he could hit the right hole
Just threw up in airport security. Happy holidays.
other girls like to lick balls but none of them live for it like u do
The Swedes wanted a tensome.
were drug buddies, doing lines off her ass is just a bonus
Some guy just stopped me in the bar and asked if I had a shot named after me at another bar called God damn my VaJana hurts? He already knew my name was Jana so I couldn't deny it!
You said "sustain yourself" quietly over and over as you fed joeys hamster cashews. Acid you is a trip
I can dry shave vagina like a champ
Don't matter if she's straight, I'll get her. I'm not called The Transformer for nothing
You are an awesome peach made of glitter.
Update: his apartment is apparently in the campus Christian community center. The fact that I fucked him on the couch in the lobby is officially my crowning life achievement.
i am not an asshole. i paid for her to take a cab home.
dude, we were in ann arbor. she's from cincinnati. ten bucks didn't even get her back on I-94. i maintain my position. you are indeed an asshole.
Apparently during my blackout I walked over to Troy, grabbed my crotch, and said “Eat Fresh” while his GF was with him. FML
Hi I love you will you be up for a while!
That exclamation point was a drunk decision
Randomize
