i wish that every time i slipped on a sheet of ice i had the ability to recover with a michael jackson move
I slept with some guy because he drew a dinosaur on my arm
This girl is drinking wine and watching grey's anatomy in the library during finals week. I hate comm majors.
I just woke up naked clutching a Taco Bell bag.
he told me he's been faithful to his girlfriend and is gonna try to stay that way. challenge accepted.
I THREW AWAY MY VIBRATOR BECAUSE IT INTIMIDATED HIM. WORST. DECISION. EVER
At 2pm we are having a MANDITORY house meeting about last night. ALL must be in attendance!
I'd like to review the planning and execution of the party to determine how we hosted a naked party, to determine how we can have more.
One day i'll wow you with artfully trimmed pubes.
How did the date go? No fake eyeballs this time?
My butt remains clenched, sir.
None of these texts make sense. except for "step 2.5 equals velociraptor." that i get.
I apparently lifted the young child over my head yelling "Victory!" after that last game of pool, right before doing some Girls Just Wanna Have Fun karaoke.
He's UNCIRCUMCISED. And it curves. Two things I've never encountered in all my sluttiness and they're both on the hottest guy alive. :(
Is it wrong to want to have sex with one guy who's good in bed before going out on a date with a guy I actually like?
she's 6'2. you bet your ass i slept with her.
Randomize
