just throwing this out there: period starts tomorrow sooo either sex tonight or not until tues/weds.
i get a bj anyways so it's really your choice.
k i'll be over in 5.
As gay men are we obligated to learn the Single Ladies dance.
You were sitting at the bus stop holding hands with some Polish girl you just met, who was just as drunk as you were, and you kept trying to light your Kit Kat and smoke it.
So i guess i slapped the girl sitting next to me leg and said "You know what they say, got fat legs...you gotta fat BOX"
i left because you were standing at the top of the stairs throwing shot glasses and bottles full of alcohol at me and yelling JAGERBOMBS
Yup. We're now banned from TWO of our nation's finest zoos.
it wasn't until he got that douchey haircut that i started regretting sleeping with him
My mom just told me my dad shaves his pubes while drunk and I don't know how to feel anymore.
I need Jameson.
Yea? How do you think I feel? Your job during the delivery is to keep that flask ready. The moment our kid pops out, I'm taking a shot.
i woke up to you and that girl going out onto the balcony naked
oh sorry man.. we went outside because we DIDN'T want to wake you
No but I was fuckin done when I realized my acrylic nail caught fire when I was hitting the bong.
I will forever remember this as The Great Jalepeno Cock Burn of 2014.
I've only fucked to 2 Fleetwood Mac songs, that must be why my life feels so empty.
HIS DICK IS SO AWESOME DUDE. 15/10 SURPRISE
He was publicly touching my boobs before I even knew he's a famous World Cup skier.... That's how hot he was
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