Riding home in a carseat. Worst. Night. Ever.
I'm hoping you can explain why I woke up with what I believe is pumpkin pie all over my body
He makes this seasoned whore feel like a novice. I've met the one.
Then she cat effected the picture of my dick I sent her the other night. I'm in love.
He ate me out in the forest at that park we used to hit my bong in highschool again, somehow this isn't what I pictured being 25 would be like
There was a half eaten cheeseburger on my coffee table. Guess I made it to McDonald's.
Such a good question, let's ask the alcohol gods for the answer.
The ideal thing to do next party is to tape my boobs down so they don't knock over the pong cups while playing defense. They came back to hurt us this time
OMG IM A TIGER AND I LOVE ROARING
Drunk naked twister. My place. Heath is trying to use his dick as a third leg.
In case you're wondering where my head is at right now, it's wishing that I was getting laid and not having a debate about cheese.
I've decided that it's a bad thing. But I've also decided that I don't give a fuck.
you can't let guys come on your chest and then hog my blanket
I KEEP THINKING INAPPROPRIATE SEXUAL THOUGHTS ABOUT YOU AND I AM SORRY.
We should write a country song: “Blacked Out on a Sunday”
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