All I know is that if italians start TIME TRAVELLING were all in a lot of trouble paizon
Yeah, it was perfect until the end. Apparently women are super attracted to me until the sleeping with part.
it can't be normal that my body odor smells like fries
Dude a guy just showed up with alcohol and a bag of double cheese burgers. I think I found my future husband.
I feel so grown up. I just went to home depot to buy actual home improvement supplies instead of stuff to make a bong with.
He was going nice and slow, then he yelled " BOONNEESTOORRMM!!!!!". I can't walk straight.
The girl in the hotel room next to us walked out at the same time as me this morning. She just shook her head, looked at me and said, "faker." Is it that easy to tell?!??
I'll be there in 10. I need you naked and ready. Warm up.
sometimes when you're high at work you just have to say fuck it and eat the dog treats
He fucking took my shirt off and didn't even touch my boobs. What the actual fuck.
This country song on the radio just had a rap break. What. No. Why.
Please don't throw the wedding bouquet at me
according to the calendar even that i put in my phone last night, i'm supposed to fuck shit up at 11am today... i really hope i didn't miss something important
Can u pick up some lemons on the way? I have Tequila and a sore throat..I need them for both
I swam, I rode a bicycle, I rode a horse, I danced. It was like a real life tampon advert.
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