Saw shirtless man with angel wing tramp stamp seen biking in my neighborhood. Considering moving.
I think god was stupid personally. The clit should be inside the vagina. Idiot.
I wish Facebook had filters like: Ivy League school, frat boy, straight, extremely wealthy, great in bed.. I would check all of them
organizing the empties. That sober.
How long after mardi gras is it considered okay to wake up topless and wearing beads?
dude to be honest with you there is a used condom that ive just left on my floor for three days
you have got to get your shit together
I'm wearing a real bra and real shoes. I look like a fucking lady.
Seriously-without actually meaning the statement for it's words- that made me want to put a baby in you.
this one kid was speed-mumbling about putting broccoli in the printer
What eyeshadow color says "yes I am at the dentist, and yes I am hungover please don't judge my life choices"
someone in the elevator just told me i looked like a struggle but i smell very pretty..
She has that type of face she reminds me of that weird girl from napoleon dynamite only taller and with hoop earrings.
I've decided to have sex with him one more time to make sure I don't like him
you kept shouting 'jesus penis' when i was on the phone with 911
I was trying to decide if i was still high whenever i realized i was pressing the buttons on the microwave cause i liked the sound.
Randomize
