also: i found my "nug jug", actually the baby did, but either way it got returned to its rightful owner
Just saw some guy puking out of the dorm window, its for sure monday
i turned my shower on this morning and passionfruit pulp came out. how did you even do that?
So... Apparently, "Home" isn't the correct response when a cop asks for your address...
how are you shocked you fucked her? sure shes hot, but she also washed your beerpong balls in her mouth..... you should probably get tested.
Oh shit. My drunken car sex is on Google Earth.
We got naked and peed in the garden. Something about bonding with our new house
I was puking in the bathroom when my fake tooth fell off of my retainer so I just walked out of the bar and didn't say goodbye to my date
he said we should drink responsibly and we all just kinda sat there laughing at him
I hate drunk me more than anyone else in this world
Yea it's also hard to turn down a man asking you out with a chicken sandwich.
You were peeing off the rooftop and told everyone sometimes you just gotta go
ready for a night of bad decisions, horrible moral standards, and an unhealthy amount of illegal substances.
OMG OMG OMG!!!! I made his penis bleed!! I repeat I MADE HIS PENIS BLEED!!!!
I'm cuddly bitch. Deal with it.
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