remember that time i ran away from the bar and passed out in a street cot?
neither do i
he started yelling "squirt for me" then his girlfriend knocked on the door and told us to keep it down
i'm not really understanding how she couldn't figure out it was him
You American Chicks are so confusing....1 day you are on my nuts next day you be trippin
Dude its not just American chicks...a small penis is the same in every language
i just saw a white kid with an afro using a martini shaker as a coffee thermos. go college.
I was happy to be the center of attention..until i realized why everyone was staring
right before he came he said "im ganna fill your stocking" nothing like holiday spirit!!
dinner is belligerent. she just poured the rest of the pitcher of margaritas into a take home box. people are staring.
Do you think she's aware of my deep hatred or should I set her hair on fire in her sleep?
Just caught my first cougar this fake was worth every fucking penny.
I had an epiphany. If a dude dressed up as Batman to ask me out, I'd prolly marry him.
Mom just sent me an email. The subject line is "How to avoid a urinary tract infection"
LET IT GO MOM
I've covered myself in body paint in the likeness of R2D2 and I still didn't get laid. Please explain.
You ruined a cute cat because your lack of horniness
I haven't gotten dressed in 4 days. God bless you, unemployment.
So if he doesn't show up do we eat his birthday cake? Because I'm stoned and wrestling is on. What's the proper protocol
Randomize
