so all night Ive been that girl with her tits out @ the bar. I mean I dropped jaws, yo. But in a classy way.
Nothing says "I love you" like a full raw dog.
Tonight has been like a good ass fucking high school movie
honey bunches of taint.
this episode of spongebob makes me wish crabby patties were real
its like she was born with a silver dick in her mouth
ATMs should seriously have built in breathalysers, I would save so much money.
I feel like I should limit myself to one meal prepared from a box per day
Sorry, they don't make maternity Power Ranger suits...
I found my limit. I will not, in fact, blow my 78 year old professor for an A in his class.
As soon as I got there, you appeared out of no where, yelled "they're giving away free cigarettes!" in my face and then disappeared and I didn't see you the rest of the night.
Just checking to make sure you weren't kidnapped, pregnant or watching Fox News.
Visibly drunk girl eating alone at a souplantation just spilled salad all over her body. It was me
Do you remember punching the light out in the bathroom? I didn't, and that was at bar 2 of 4…
Yeah that was post sex. I was thinking in my mind, no wonder he didnt ask me to call him daddy since he actually is a dad
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