Dude, just got a bummer.
What??
A blow job from a homeless chick.
just throwing this out there: period starts tomorrow sooo either sex tonight or not until tues/weds.
i get a bj anyways so it's really your choice.
k i'll be over in 5.
Is it socially acceptable to order two burrito bowls?
anything's socially acceptable if you do it with enough confidence
One reason I don't come to Portland. I saw 8 guys I have had sex with last night. At the same party.
By 8 I mean 9.
And by 9 I mean 10.
Random girl at this party just gave me a lap dance in a la-Z-boy. Night significantly improved.
He kept dropping hints about giving me crabs. Like he called my pubes a nest and said he "hoped there weren't any eggs in there."
After i black out, be a good friend and point me to the direction of a girl with daddy issues, any girl would do just fine
Are you alive?
I googled "I don't want to vomit anymore," and "how to rip out your uvula," at 9 am this morning, but I'm still here. Uvula and all.
Holy shit he's circumcised. His parents must have really loved him.
I'm calling in my "fuck at anytime anywhere" card. Meet me at my place in 20 min, wear your Waldo costume.
Negotiating with my body. We're ok. Violent upheaval is not necessary.
that's the second time I've left that bar and slept with the person that's driven my car. thank god I don't take cabs..
when we woke up this morning she was missing two teeth. the front two.
Im drinking a CAN of bud light at the bar. Do you really think I care anymore?
Is that your Nuva ring on the floor? Shit must have gotten crazy
Randomize
