I molested 6 butterflies tonight
Why are handjobs necessary in class?
I just made friends with the guy at the coffee shop in borders. And by that I mean he stared at me until I was uncomfortable and left.
She was kinda tragic... like a puppy that runs into things. Cute but really stupid. So, yeah, I hit it.
Dude. I have been looking at your movie history on netflix and it is like looking at the rings of a tree. Only instead of telling me how old you are, it tells me when you were stoned.
HOW DID U BEAT A GAY GUY IN GAY CHICKEN?
and then you looked me right in the eyes and said "i just really wanna pet some horses right now"
Experimentation with dessert toppings followed by shower sex. Only logical progression bro.
When are you not under some influence?
Since last Tuesday...yesterday.
If we accept the love we think we deserve do we also accept the sex we think we deserve?
I couldn't think of the word "bath" so instead I told him I was marinating in soapy water
Who wakes up at 9 and says "let me send a pic of my dick to my ex gf"
Update: He still has devil magic genitals.
How do u ask ur friend if shes keeping her kid but in a chill way
Don’t fucking talk to that dude from monday!! Ethical consumption dude, don’t fuck shitty guys
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