yeah, he just sent me a picture of himself with his shirt off.... It didnt turn me on, it just made me want to buy him a big mac....
my hippie aunt just sent me some brownies with a note saying not to eat them under any circumstances until finals are over. excited.
all i remember is screaming butter knifes are for pussies.
After grabbing my boob for a couple minutes he then decides to ask me if I was awake.
i'm way too high for it to be safe that i just discovered i have a fire extinguisher
well she hit her head and had a concussion. i had to make out with her to keep her awake.
the remote is under the fat chick passed out on the couch. Good luck .. and may god have mercy on your soul.
It would have to be recorded, because that sex tape would be humanity's primary evidence of miracles
We should get Al Michaels to provide commentary for it.
Dude, for twins they have shockingly different blowjob styles.
STOP FUCKING MY SISTERS!!!!
You went in the back with her.. And honestly I couldn't tell her neck from her tits man..
This Pinterest wedding planning is a good distraction. I'm great at this, my imaginary wedding is beautiful
When you glanced over and and mouthed "I'll take the fat chick" I knew it was going to be an epic Sunday night.
My roomate had an hour long melt down about her life choices not realizing I was in the middle of having sex... So yea it went pretty horribly.
should we try and roll a cross joint since its good friday? you know, for jesus
DID YOU OR DID YOU NOT, PEE IN MY FUCKING TRASHCAN?!
Randomize
