I like bacon cheeseburgers and the pussycat dolls
Does that mean you want me to loosen up your buttons at carls jr?
Just took a beer bong out of snuffaluffagus's trunk. Your move
Changed my sheets. Found a can of rockstar, crushed bag of tostitos, used tissues, and enough of both of our clothes to make a whole outfit.
he opened the microwave and beer cans poured out
He kept screaming "it's so seductive" while he was humping the wall
Just don't have "pin the tail on the straight edge" as a party game... Please and thanks...
I don't think I have but I might've died. If I have then come get me, I'm in the flower bed. And still game.
I went on my dinner date pretending that my lunch date didn't jizz in my hair.
Just found out that guy A from the threesome I had is now dating guy B's younger sister
I just sold my hat for three car bombs. I call that a win.
The only person I have to bring is crazy hospital guy
HE'S NOT INVITED!!!
Why am I not blowing coke off your ass at my apartment?
My dad lost his bandaid somewhere in the turkey. It was a mixture of thanksgiving and an Easter egg hunt
I left my parents and ran through the airport. I was like I'm not getting stuck in Atlanta tonight and not having sex.
I'm sorry that you wanted to get laid and I all I did was play with your new cat instead.
Randomize
