im drinking this country out of the recession.
then my best friend's brother, boyfriend, and future bro in law showed up at the bar. they asked who i was there with. didn't know if "a 40 year old man" or "my 5th grade teacher" was better answer.
something came early last nite... and lemme tell u it wasn't christmas...
I'm still amazed at how you managed to puke in every plant on the whole top floor at the mall without a single person noticing and without missing a step.
I now have an ENTIRE drawer of unused disposable silverware from Boston Market... and you guys said I needed to "buy" kitchen stuff
how should i feel about a person who brings a box of eggo waffles on the plane as a carry on?
that was you who tried to jump in front of my car in the monkey suit wasnt it
I'm more concerned about the fact that I can't feel my gums
I ate cinnamon toast crunch. I'm officially out of the puke zone. Blackout drunk Friday. WHAT IS GOOD.
Come out Saturday. It's for my lesbian daughter from the future birthday.
He's way too stoned. I took him to el bra and he's laying on the table, not sure what to do with him
Nothing like waking up and having two guys who aren't your boyfriend talk to you about their hard dicks before 9 am.
I think the pizza guy was in shock..
Well I didn't mean to answer the door only in socks but I mean come on, 4 hours of sex works up an appetite! I WAS RAVENOUS
Nxt time we drink that much, we'll have to hide the crayons. Crayola-ing a mural on the living room wall wasnt the brightest idea, but it sure is classy. Right?
I'm fine. Heading home now...crying. Michael Bolton totally understands me!
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