I woke up with the wrong plaid-shirted guy in my bed.
Also, new rule: You are no longer allowed to send me a text with the word "dildo" in it before 10am.
My Mom printed off all of my Augusts text messages. Apparently I've been drinking WAY too much and having an intermediate drug problem. I have to go home everyw weekend for the rest of the semester
constantly striving to make life awkward and more complicated, one drunk bone at a time.
They have a booking log online so i can just check that instead of call
Technology: making bailing your sister out easier since 2008
I guess I was trying to make a cheese sandwich, I had to change my sheets cuz I slept on it and the cheese melted all over me, Dave, and my bed
You. Me. Frosting and a bed. Lets do this.
I actually cannot wait for your visit. I miss people who make me look like the virgin mary in comparison.
I'm beginning to worry that I seem to get along best with people when I'm naked with them.
I'm sorry for getting drunk and throwing a robo-bird at you.
She looked so much better when u didn't look at her and the music was too loud to hear her
He had a cruise ship of a dick and I need to set sail on that ocean again
I wouldn't be able to live with myself if I blew a Trump supporter.
I realized it was late, and he was my brother in humanity and another incarnation of my own life force and consciousness, so I regained control of myself, thanked him for helping me, and went home.
She said to call her, so I called her. Her boyfriend answered and traced the fucking call. I could litterally hear him yell because it turns out he lives in 4d
Don't you live in 4c?
Randomize
