Fuck, operation next sex victim is on as soon as i get back. Do not sleep with that red head, nobody likes accidental ginger babies.
is it bad if I use the term bowl as a measurement of time, as in how long it takes to smoke a bowl?
Hungover snowboarding. Puked off the lift and traumatized a group lesson for kids. Crash course on adulthood.
I can't decide if the sex was so good I couldn't move, or if it was me being loaded on all the morphine that they shot me up with at the ER.
omg. MEgabus. stoned.
Theres these two guys talking.
His roommate left already and took the beer pong table so we had to take off his bedroom door. Maybe res life won't notice.
I can never go back to Jacksonville. We think I may have punched a child in the face while on acid...
You come home the day the world is supposed to end. Well played Mayans.
It sounds like drunken magic sprinkled w narcotics
We got stuck in traffic in the tunnel while we were smoking weed. We were afraid to air out the car.
You need to stop showing people the things i drunk-text to you... i have a reputation to uphold here
Also, we can't be seen together looking suspicious or sexually satisfied
Thanks for DJing my sex last night. You were on point 💜
She fucked a bartender in a closed Applebee’s and has the nerve to call me easy
did i tell you guys i finally 69’d for the first time last night? just thought the group chat should know.
Randomize
