maybe touching the ground while going 70 wasn't such a great idea after all..
I did that thing again where I get way too drunk and go gay. Then wake up in the morning and freak out at the person. Yet another bar I cannot go back to
he told me that if i wanted to smoke he could make a piece out of my shoe. were keeking this kid around
She refers to my dick as princess Sarah... oddly I'm okay with that.
Retelling stories from our semester makes me realize we need to get tested for herpes.
I figured that I'd start organizing the places ive given head. I'll add treehouse right after bandroom
Crazy how fast a room full of drunk teenagers sober up when someone breaks his parents' new flat screen
She made this little rubber cap thing that looks like a brain to go on my dick. She calls it a "penis cap". Industrial design students are weird...
I also tried to solve my dog's itching problem with crystal healing. I'm so high, dude.
I just rubbed amethyst all over him and kept saying 'no bites.'
Our apt smells like hot shit marinated in oregano and cumin. No more taco truck dinner, fuck face. The wall paper is peeling.
turns out putting a tie on my unicorn onesie didn't make it acceptable "formal wear" and I found salsa in my cup holder
How does one acquire holy water?
Goddamnit, guys. I got lube all over my kindle.
I came home in someone else's underwear this morning
Atleast you got a souvenir
YOU'D BE LIKE A MERMAID! I'll bring you coffee filters to cover your tits.
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