Oh my god you would drunk register for a marathon.
i have a girlfriend
if you're drunk do you have a girlfriend?
no
i'm in the guys across the halls apartment. i think 7 MIP guy wants me. he just got a medical marijuana card. might be worth it.
im trying to catch a child molester. call you later.
let's be real here, you have a beautiful vagina. this kid is a doctors son. that's a remedy for beautiful rich grandkids. he is just trying water his family tree, and make sure he doesn't end up in some piece of shit adult home. go for it.
i didnt have any regrets until i found out he was a freshman.... and the only reason he got into yale was because of soccer... and he wasnt premed.
I seriously don't understand how you keep getting laid.
Because I'm like the spider of false hope. I spin elaborate tales and snare them in my web of utter disappointment. They soon realize their mistake, but by then it's too late.
I haven't even booked my flights yet and I have my drug supply sorted
you taught an eight year old how to shotgun a half pint of chocolate milk, that's all i'm saying
I have chafed skin from the handy she gave me. I told her that and she said return the favor when it heals. I'm in love.
What i love about my dog is i can lay in bed and masturbate with him at the foot, and he just leaves me alone.
We have a lot of substance abuse to do tomorrow its sleep time
So much Jack, so little girl.
So...I maybe walked across campus last night with my life size Joe Biden cut out.
He doesn't wear a seatbelt. He votes Republican. He has a small dick. That house of cards just fell apart.
Randomize
