i hit her car. ill just send her a farmville gift in the morning. then it'll be alright.
my parents are out trying to convince the local liquor stores to post "do not sell our daughter alcohol" flyers. i'm preping my defense now.
Just saw a guy doing jumping jacks at the gym. I don't even have to create a punch line for that
I think I get why guys like boobs so much. I just motorboated myself and it's fun. My boobs feel soft and squishy on my face.
It's amazing how much better one feels once you put something in your vagina.
He knew exactly who I'd slept with after just one look at my crotch. He's like the Sherlock Holmes of cocks.
Just thought i'd let you guys know that my dad was roofied at a lesbian bar last night...
The basket that the Naughty Easter bunny left for you at my house might keep us entertained for a little while...
Can we do a version of last night where I actually remember shit?
Yes I slept with him, he was the only one not wearing a costume. Guys with costumes are just trying to impress you.
She is the Michael Jordan of blowjobs. Unfortunately, her baby sister is the Michael Jordan of baseball of blowjobs. It does not run in the family.
420 is off to a bad start. Mark wake/baked WAY too much, and he has spent over $50 on the claw machine in the grocery store.
The convent might be a nice break from real life
At least you didn't lose your virginity to chumbawumba
My chance to home wreck was right in front of me and I didn’t grab it by the balls
Randomize
