Cab driver just said he likes mutual masturbation in the cab. Um
so explain again why im purple
no
I'm glad girls dont get visible erections
But, it would have made life so much easier...
JoAnns office is warmer than mine. . .it must be because she has the gateway to hell under her desk.
Just so you know, coffee creamer+water does not = milk.
We're going to play a drinking game. It's called "Senior Year of College."
I give you full permission to fuck a rando on my air mattress.
He's rescued me passed out naked on the playground next door and I've rescued him passed out naked in the middle of campus. That's why we're a great couple.
Jager makes that raccoon appear... The one that shits in a basket in my living room.
Stay strong! Remember we're too uncoordinated to be strippers to make money instead of being a nurse
Of all of my friend's husbands, I like when yours hits on me best
Awe that means so much to us
after the ketamine those signs on the bathroom door had little meaning to us
as a guy is it bad that even my mom called me easy?
So I fell alseep while I was motorboating that girl last night infront of the entire party.
My house exploded and with it all my pot went up in smoke.
Randomize
