between no blow jobs for the rest of his life, or no cheese for the rest of his life, he chose no blowjobs. ive never felt so bad about my bj abilities before
I just heard an old guy ask the chick he was with if she wanted to try ass to mouth...
thanks for that.
I feel like im in a tornado of daylight savings, tequila and death
she said my body looked tiny like it was a bad thing and then didn't even mention how great my tits look. it's like we're not even friends.
What's the big deal? you guys fuck
3 times is my limit. I don't even want to know you exist after 3 times
The drugs are starting to wear off. Suddenly aware there's a girl with bald patches and 2 guys that don't have a full set of teeth between them.
Sitting in a bubble bath with my bong, how's your morning?
We had to leave. Dave knocked a dude out for saying yolo.
Just had to hide the fact that I'm not wearing underwear from my 7 year old niece.
Fuck edible panties there is a dress made out of bacon
Just so you know, if I get bored tomorrow I WILL pretend to get drunk in the bathroom and crash the whole thing
There's Dick Pix, Zorro, and The Little Engine that Could. I nickname my fuck buddies for the exact same reason why you don't name animals which you will one day have for dinner.
are you fucking roseanne barr in there?
plus like he's kinda a piece of shit. a beautiful somewhat talented piece of shit that hella needs to get his life together
Your girlfriend agreed to a threesome, I saw dogs in a bar. It seems life is falling into place for us
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