I called Tyra Banks a whore to her face. A sure sign I should go home. Instead I went to the gay bar.
idk how it happened. she made a very smooth transition from crying to blowing me
Jerking off has been your answer to everything tonight.
Well, you're either very drunk or very high but I'll let it slide because I love any type of conversation concerning cheese.
drunk pissing on my closed toilet lid is actually quite a sobering experience
Your therapist is not going to think that you using your vagina as revenge is okay
I think you blew our chances when you yelled "YOU SLUTS COMING TO THE TITTIE BAR?" in their face
Its pretty simple actually, if she texts me either Grr or Rawr it means she is horny and wants to bone. its a perfect system
It was like good, clean fun, but with bodyshots.
My dream had 1 penis and 2 pizzas in it. Priorities?
we're decorating our christmas cookies with birth control. so pretty.
him and the cab driver we buy e from got into a fist fight, about which show is better, futurama or family guy.
The only thing left on my Bucket List is getting fingered at an aquarium.
I just turned down a booty call because I'm having a Star Wars movie marathon
I did something very bad. More specifically, my boss.
Randomize
