he wanted to have me eat skittles off of his body. he mad gay sex even gayer.
wasted. watching meteors, awesome idea i ever had, see 2 for every 1 with ma double vision
I get way too drunk to be trusted with family heirlooms
I'm sorry i ruined our friendship with a boner
Yeah I just don't know how I feel about my fuck buddy coming to work at my dads office with me.
idk the fact that her roommate had a sign that said "enter without knock, exit without cock" makes me really NOT want to go steal her pot.
fond memories of taking my pregnancy test here in this Burger King
Yeah started playing at the wedding last night, when the line. "Ludacris fills cups like DD" he starts pointing at my tits right in front of his grandparents.
He got too drunk... he threw up ON the closed toilet.
It's a Jersey thing
But now he's gone and I'm exhausted and my vagina is yelling at me and I want a cheeseburger
Actually going to jail after your wedding is NOT part of the plan.
And I'm laying here struggling with the notion that I need to put pants on.
You should have just fucked me in the bathroom when you had a chance!
I don't care that he's really strong. I need him to make me cum not fix my back problems
If I die tonight, you and your brother can split my money evenly for college only.
all $38?
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