its no coincidence her full name and "cling" are the same in t9
My mom just found some of our lube mixed in with my box of pots and pans. I hate moving home.
Even tho I saw his penis. He is still a really nice guy.
The 30 seconds of sex was almost worth it...I mean he did smoke me out and watched the princess and the frog with me
my knee is completely bruised from kneesliding into the bowling ball. bowling for creativity points was a win
Last awkward moment of 2011: your ex gf grinding on me in front of her husband.
The best part of my day was getting high in the parking lot of the movie theater and taking pics in the photo booth with the caption "CONGRATULATIONS!" we geeked out because it congratulated us for getting high
He walked door to door asking if anyone needed to get laid. Surprisingly, that ended his drought
It's embarrassing enough people in my life are aware of the ridiculous things that happen to me. I don't think we need to get the whole world involved.
NO I WOULD NOT GET A GUMMER FROM A GRANDMOTHER
So my nipple piercings were only $20 because it's breast cancer awareness month. Fuck yes!
I think I reached some stage of aging, have a sore/injured shoulder from sex, next up carpal tunnel from sexting.
It's Valentine's Day, I figure for sure we'll have sex today, right? Wrong. I tried unsuccessfully for like an hour to get him to fuck me. Now he's asleep and I'm on my way to join the public library.
Hypothetically - think of it as Schrodinger's blow-job.
why did you kick open the doors at church screaming whos ready to party?
Randomize
