She got kicked off the plane and spent the last four hours in a holding cell with the feds.
but she's really nice
hey this is lauren, i have to type for jon because he's convinced the tongs he's holding are his real hands
All I seem to do lately is get myself off, take naked pictures and drink beer. I don't know if thats a good or bad thing.
I told my girl, that I use to jerk off to Star Trek. All she says is, "Oh my gawd, you're such a trekie!". If I was her, I'd be weirded out more than me being a Trek Fan.
Just witnessed a fat girl fall off the treadmill, pop a medicine ball, and drink coke out of a water bottle all in one workout.
Only in this snowstorm did have I realized the lengths I'll go to to get laid.
The girl who overdosed in the bathroom at work is back....help?
My getting drunk and marrying a stranger in Vegas final court annulment papers just came in the mail... I might frame that shit
Underwear, t-shirt, bottle of Pinot Grigio and Golden Girls. I've hit a new level of homosexual.
Drunk me needs to be reminded of my sexual preferences.
at least it wasnt animals
What did he say? I couldn't hear him over the sound of how awesome his beard is.
I'm just going to say , cocktail races are not for a Wednesday night maybe not even a Friday type of deal
tonight were gonna drink champagne and watch girls put themselves in awkward position
We don't really communicate like that.
Communicate like what?
Communicate like people who want to see each other when their genitals are inside their pants.
I just watched two grown men tickle-fight. Just glorious. No words.
Randomize
