So you maybe wanna hang out again? I could use the $5
Whatever I can do to help stimulate the economy
Dude, I'm in her bathroom and there's crab shampoo... is it worth the risk?
You're missing what this discovery implies... she's got a fucking bush.
I wish there were wingman of the year awards.
So the bouncer told me I could leave the easy way or the hard way. I told him I was going to make him earn his 10 bucks that hour.
Apparently you chose the latter.
I hate it when I can only see straight when I close one eye. I feel like that deserts the purpose of seeing with two eyes
BROstal carolina. Watching a boy drinking rum and coke out of a cup of noodle empty cup.
Drinking bud light and eating rice cakes...this is the closest to getting in shape for spring break as its going to get.
there should be laws that require people like to me to be on birth control.
The gym has a pool
my gym membership just went from "way to get in shape" to "place to go swim when I'm high"
My getting drunk and marrying a stranger in Vegas final court annulment papers just came in the mail... I might frame that shit
whatever buzz i had immediately ended when i saw her run through a sliding glass door
I woke up with flowers, a tiara & pasta salad in my bed. Tequila makes me act like a fat Disney princess
I'm just gonna start letting dudes eat it. American idol for my vagina
I wish I could have seen the drive thru woman's face after " May I please have 20 Mcflurrys.....and a large diet coke, I'm trying to watch my weight for bikini season."
She gave me a can of steel reserve to pour on myself in the shower
Amnesty Wednesday? I'm free to do dirty things to you and you can't laugh or judge?
Randomize
