I'm pretty sure his head is too big to fit between my legs. Worthless.
Can you imagine it being physically possible any other way unless the cows are unnaturally flexible
i suspect the closest i'll get to a valentine this year is a 16 year old on chat roulette asking me to show my tits. step up from last year, i guess.
I was surprised he admitted he couldnt keep up. We both knew but usually they dont come out and say it
so apparently the car got towed with me passed out in the back seat.
Yeah, all the sudden I heard a loud "ding" and realized I had been passed out on the dorm elevator for about an hour....
yeah, but the first step is admitting you have a problem, the next step is kidnapping him
My ex was there, the 2 girls I'm seeing showed up and I had a pocket full of VIP passes 2 the strip club. Had all the makings of an epic night but I fell asleep at the bar.
Also, if you all get arrested i'm coming to laugh at you because i don't have the money for bail.
Is it really road head if took place on kayaks in the river?
The perfect man would keep a whisky sour in my hand and give me endless sex. I really don't think that's too much to ask for.
You're wearing pigtails and giving away our kitchen appliances. Clearly, you're drunk.
Lol, maybe a little bit. I don't know. I don't keep a super keen memory log of dicks honestly.
from across the room i saw you look into your beer and whisper "i love you"
ALL I WANT IS SEMEN IN/ON/AROUND MY BODY. WHY IS HE MAKING THIS SO HARD.
Randomize
