The funny thing is... I'm about to go to the store to buy WD-40 and condoms... That's it.
And before you ask they are unrelated purchases.
he texted me telling him i gave him the clap. but i think he gave it to me and i gave it back to him
so high. i feel like my whole body is a boner
You probably shouldn't be hiding under someones bed listening to them get head
I drunkenly sent a picture of my scrotum to the entire baseball team last night
When the cops come you probably shouldn't be poking cars with a stick.
You need to come over. I cant get her to stop eating honey mustard straight from the squeeze bottle
Putting all my energy Into finding a polite way to ask my mailman to fuck me in his car.
My ex came over to hook up...then I went on a date 2 hours later and got a bj. Single: Finally doing it right.
I'm gonna hop on that dick and ride it into the sunset
The best thing about this time of year is that all I have to do is add a random mardi gras decoration to my cart full of alcohol and boom, no more judging
Swiping left on your brother's Tinder account is possibly the worst way to learn he broke up with his girlfriend.
I’ve lost count of how many disciplines of science this conversation about Harry Potter has gone through.
probably because i sent a bunch of guys a snap saying happy one year to my nipple piercings
her nickname was handjob. I knew what i was getting into.
Randomize
