Part in the USA is on your top 25 most played on iTunes. you have NO RIGHT to judge me.
I have on cowboy boots and a ten gallon hat. I'd say I'm a little past tipsy
She said "don't make this weird" and then proceeded to sniff me.
ur roommate just sent me a pic of us fucking. i'm not coming over anymore.
If I don't at least start a parade that spirals into drunken riots then I'm calling it a fail of a birthday
They installed a lotion dispenser in the bathroom at work... its like they want me to masturbate on the clock...
Any man who has a face like that and a bike, deserves a vagina like yours permanently.
His dick is as big as my 7" heels... Awkwardness is forgotten.
Every little girl dreams of the day when she picks up her fuck buddy because he's drunk at the gay bar again.
So that advice that humming stops you from puking? Yeah no, just puked through my nose.
Ya it was crazy the power went just as she was about orgasm and the vibrator got fried with the power surge
then this guy just runs in screaming, "cant you see my daughter pissed herself???!!!" and that was the start of my 2016.
You don't have to buy me dinner, watch tv or even hang out if you don't want. Just fuck.
What am I supposed to say? "Oh hey, I can't go out with you tonight because I can't picture myself sleeping with you and I was high and just trying to be nice when I said yes"?
I was so drunk I asked my mom if she had always been my mom or if it was someone else for a while
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