Kroger has a sale on economy packs of some ridic brand of condom with a smiley devil heart on it $4.99 for 24
Sounds like a baby waitign to happen
I thought the fact that I took home a 42 year old with 3 kids would excuse my tardiness this morning because my boss is also 42 and has 3 kids. Boy was I wrong.
dude you were so wasted last night you ate a sandwich made out of tomatos, cheese, doritos, salt & pepper. Then you heated it in the micro for 5 min to melt the cheese.
I don't know what your problem is but seriously you're a cunt for throwing up that song on your page. It's rude as fuck
omg its myspace i didnt think anyone took that seriously anymore
That explains waking up with one hand in the toilet and the other in the trash can
I just told someone i was in "addition and subtraction 160".......and they believed me.
I think I should have my paycheck direct deposited to the bar
there's no such thing as luck on your birthday, only drunken invincibility, make it happen
Omg he's telling my parents stories about him doing jaagerbombs ... Lord help me
I'm trying to make a sex playlist
record yourself crying and put it on a loop.
You know you're sufficiently drunk when the 411 dude just says, "Fuck it! I'll Google that shit for you, what movie do you want to see?" and proceeds to give you showtimes for 3 different theatres.
Looks like a took a video of myself beating off and passed out last night. I'm classy.
Shit on my own feet while puking from my hangover. Is this what 33 is supposed to be like?
I'm hungover from the 8pm vodka and still drunk from the 5am beer.
Man it shouldn't be possible to get mad while you're stoned. I feel like ive broken one of the laws of physics
Randomize
