I had a dream last night that we were eating cake at Mercy...hahaha. I'm furious I didn't see you.
I just tried to unlock my house with the car remote
i also saw a trio of peacocks walking along a sidewalk in hollywood today. i really hope im not tripping.
The cops found weed in michael jacksons house today...it makes up for the child molesting, I like him more now.
I found a fried uncrustable on the table from last night.
Hello you've reached the get a clue corp. Our business hours are from take a hint to figure it out, eastern standard time. If you prefer to leave a message, don't, call back when you're not crazy, fat, and annoying.
You left your underwear here. I'm hanging it on my door
He has horses apparently. I wonder if we could fuck while riding a horse or if that's too dangerous.
I'm still not sure if it was intentional, but the chiropractor definitely cradled his balls on my shoulder. He even seemed to adjust the sack for comfort. I think I should be flattered. He is a doctor, after all..
I was busy. But now I'm about to consume alcohol and chicken. We shall see where this takes us. Maybe to the moon, maybe to the floor. I have no idea.
Also. When I die, I'm gonna have them put me in the casket naked and then have an open casket funeral. That will be my last chance to make people uncomfortable.
I really have to stop having sex with people I sell drugs to...it feels unprofessional
He's hot and has an accent therefore you don't ask questions when he tells you to take your pants off.
He sent me a dick pic from work, but I could see all the pizzas in the background. Now I'm just hungry.
Truth be told it's significantly easier to get over someone when they file a police report on you
Randomize
