if you like me you must not know who I am
I wish life had little blips of pornography
Its pretty simple actually, if she texts me either Grr or Rawr it means she is horny and wants to bone. its a perfect system
Yes. Yes. Double yes. I'll bring the tits. You bring the frosting.
If you can get laid in a rudolph onesie you are doing something right my friend.
I know how I'm going to make my fortune.. designing an icepack made specifically for the vagina.
U should feel bad.. u r like a sex politician. All talk and no follow thru
On duty sugar tits. A Marine never abandons his post to take nudi pics.
I almost tried texting you with my pipe. Holy fuck this is good shit.
If a marine in My bed is not considered a valid excuse for missing class then I don't want to live in America anymore
Of course, you have to give the courtesy text like last night when I told you my dick was gonna smell like peppermint
Do you remember whose house we're in?
In between explaining the best feminist lenses for the myth of Persephone and doing vodka shots with my friends she dragged me into my car and gave me an Earth shattering blow job. Honestly I think I'm in love.
You're so sweet in the most vulgar ways
I've been trying to fall asleep with ice packs covering my vagina for the last hour... Sorry for being vulgar. I'm going to kill myself.
Randomize
