haha you were so trashed that you deleted all of your christian music from itunes and kept saying"c-ya God, nice knowin ya"
I woke up face down on my laptop with three windows open: itunes, chat roulette and redtube
she won't be coming home tonight because she tried stealing a baby giraffe from the zoo
well he has a gf so if he picks me up tonight i'll only him finger me
Everything was good until you pulled the bartenders hair because she cut you off
The used rubbers I threw behind her bed all semester must have landed on the baseboard heater. They went up in smoke when she turned on the heat last night.
I am so hung over a medically induced coma is beginning to sound appealing.
she used teeth so i didnt tell her when i was cumming ...........dont get mad get even
went out last night. woke up with a lisp.
Fuck this. I'm adopting 12 cats and naming them after the 12 disciples. Maybe Jesus will have sympathy for me then.
Oh hello Jordan's parents, I'm here to have sex with your son. He's in the shower? Oh great, I'll join him
So we were fooling around last night and suddenly Like A Virgin popped up on his itunes
OMG haha What did he say?
He told me that if I laughed, I would have to leave.
If you shit your pants and not say anything about it right before we have sex one more time I'm dumping you.
well you're talking to a woman who had glorious sex less than 24 hrs ago so my opinion is biased.
I should not have moved in with him. He's got porn stashed everywhere like a homosexual squirrel.
You love porn!
Not in the sugar bowl when I'm making my Mom coffee I don't.
Randomize
