I don't think my ego could take a straight man out-cooking me.
should I fuck that poor girl
no dude she won't be able to afford a fucking abortion
he then started listing things that have been up his butt, never drinking in boys town again
Fact: Telling a guy he has erectile dysfunction doesn't solve the problem.
Bring my lunch to work in liquor store bags is doing nothing for my career
They kept trying to slap each other but they were poring beer onto their hands first referring to it as their baby powder
walking back to the dorm.. she is flashing evryone, demanding beads. we tried to stop her and now she just keeps yelling "Bourbon st bitchesss"... you get her tomorrow
Dude. You stood in a corner laughing your ass off while folding clothes, facing the wall. Yes, they were weed brownies..
You told me that you were mad me because I wouldn't let you 'explore my castle'. Then you said I smelled like a hospital and passed out.
somebody went from crying while watching Full House, to a full on emotional raging bull...I love this time of the month
And then he dove into my vagina like scrooge mcduck into a room of gold
Hey I'm coming to get my gin do you want a good luck blowjob for your exam tmrw
Just realized I chose a bacon cheeseburger over sex last night
I'm definitely single now but she stole my mailbox
Is it fucked up to venmo someone for plan-b?
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